Oh the Bartender is just like a mother,
with his apron so clean and white
For he tries to make everyone happy,
and he never looks for a fight
Whenever I’m sad and lonesome,
he always gets me to smile
Oh the Bartender is just like a mother to me,
and I am his favorite child
Oh the Bartender is just like a mother,
and I know he’s man’s best friend,
‘Cause he passes the pretzels and peanuts,
to the guy all alone on the end
Whenever my wife comes huntin’,
he says “no, he hasn’t been in”,
Oh the Bartender is just like a mother to me,
and I am his favorite kin.
Oh the Bartender is just like a mother to me,
for he knows when I’ve had enough
He refuses to give me another,
when I ask for more of the stuff,
He won’t let me be forsaken,
no matter how big my tab,
Oh the Bartender is just like a mother to me,
’cause the bar is owned by my Dad.
Bartender, I surrender, bartender, some sender,
Bartender is just like a mother to me.